Tag Archives: redwoods


(this is for you- yes, you)

My body is separated
leaking into outer realms filled
with color
as I close my eyes and spin
watching my thoughts dance around me
I become one with my soul
and jump into their minds
I know who they are
and what they’re thinking
connected by forces beyond my control
and slowly, I go insane.

Crazy in everyone else’s head
I explore
in touch with my dreams, feeling
their power
I am watched by thousands
of faces
never lifting their eyes
and they know who I am
what I’m thinking
because into their world
I am falling.

When It Was

It already makes me feel old to say I remember the world before instagram or hashtags, or even facebook (let alone the internet), even though I’ve spent the majority of my life so far without instagram or twitter or facebook, and even the internet – which makes me feel like Gandalf in this sentence. But I had the privilege of growing up in the 80’s/90’s as the last generation who remembers a world glorious as this one, where we managed one self and that was our physical one. To make things more horrifying, most of these things didn’t even exist seven years ago in 2008 (no instagram or twitter, no hashtags, and facebook was still in infantile stages and mostly for crazy social outcasts who didn’t have a myspace account); this is how the world was just seven short years and an eternity ago.  This was the distant past – when I picked up my life and moved it from Redwood trees to Raider Nation – when I began what I called “the city chapter” and found myself stumbling into a strange future.

I find myself longing these days, often, for a life before this time when we didnt carry the world in our pockets; where if we woke up alone, we were actually alone until we chose to make contact with the world – instead of reaching for a portal on the nightstand where the world impatiently begs our response; where there wasnt a separate identity hiding in the palm of everyone’s hand, a separate self needing to be managed; where I could disappear for a day without communication and not set loved ones into crisis mode. And here I go feeling old again, already – longing for good ol’ days.

How the world has changed in just seven years. And how strange it is.